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Created by ninjaleigh
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Monday 30 January 12 23:54
"When someone annoys you to the point were you just don't care what happens to them anymore. Rumor spreading, lies is all I see in you. What a crap way to end a decent weekend."

decent?! DECENT?! is THAT what you called the weekend from which point...EVERYTHING fucked up..?! the point where i stopped eating, sleeping and begun to shake from the paranoeia, and the actual mental illness i suffered from the whole ordeal..?

All you see in me is LIES?! What the FUCK did i lie about!? i did NOT spread rumours. I was careful not to...

But...yet again at least your weekend wasnt filled with tears and heartache. I don't and didn't believe you were ever 'deeply' in love with me. B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T

I could tell...you fucking liked her since the day you met her...which proves how your the same as any other boy. As soon as you have something..you don't want it. I was there...and she was a fucking chase. You deserved that punch, and nothing can change my opinion. You're a lier. And despite everything carrying on as normal...i'll always hold a small hatred, and i'll never see YOU in the same light again.
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relationships.

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Monday 30 January 12 23:43

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To the point where i need a sudden outburst of anger... frustration...emotion...i am beyond that.

The past is something which was once the present but life is like a motorway in some respects...accidents happen, wrong turns and the right turns...but in all honesty it feels like my motorway just goes on in circles...

The past is meant to have been behind us; forgotten if its bad. but some scars are build too deep. 

I lost a relative almost two years ago. I know, it's been a long time since...but its still something that digs deep every time i think about it...it chokes me up of how something could happen so suddenly...which opened my mind to how anything can happen.

"When someone annoys you to the point were you just don't care what happens to them anymore. Rumor spreading, lies is all I see in you. What a crap way to end a decent weekend."

Why do i still carry the rage? why...when i read over to remind myself of what happened...does this trigger off that urge to break someone's neck...

Yes..this is another of my rants. Incase you haven't guessed...

these scars dig deep too...running down the scroll on a certain someone's page...coming across the very words which would expose unhealed wounds and clench my insides. That feeling of loneliness, desperation, and the habit of lying to myself to create a sense of false strength, and confidence.

"YOU.....are staying over at sarahs....a week after we've broken up. ARE YOU BLOODY MESSING. .....you were supposed to be hanging at mine and you didn't even text me back to say you weren't... you said you couldn't be arsed hanging out today..when really you were with HER. i CANNOT BELIEVE i ever loved you when you have just done this to me....after i've begged and begged....some "mate", you. "

if anything..i'll still always feel like plan B.......The new 'just a friend' seemed to turn out well until that fucked up for you because of me...then to turn to boring old 'back-up' plan... i just feel like i don't mean as much as i did to you. This wasn't the first time it happened... i split up with dylan because i gave up trying to be strong...it was failing....then i dumped Steven ...because i was starting a fresh start...and i was playing the 'you either take it or leave it card'...To break you and sarah up...i was going to spread shit...but instead, i told the truth...to get you to 'unlatch' her...i was desperately thinking of a lie which would bring the ceiling down...but phil told me something which really 'sealed the deal'...but hey! new years day still hurt. If this is my last chance...good start there...but usually you never put kisses to girls, unless your single..or/and you like them...

but you were right...i did need time like half a year or something...

fuck it...before i make things worse, im off to bed.
hypophrenia ftw.


peace out oxox
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Sunday 22 January 12 20:59
-1-

I love you (:

One day...i just want a house...a warm place where we can just chill for the weekend. Somewhere cosy...do what we want - whenever we want. Go out at 2am to get pizza - stay in our pjs all day, go out for the night, or stay in to watch a film under a thick comfy heavy duvet with the lights down low. Eat pizza, crisps - Doritos..with that fit dip :D... cuddle, be alone, be away from everyone (: nothing to worry about. 

And i know it sounds stupid to you but i Imagen this to be in the caravan :D

a caravan is small...compact but unbelievably cosy ...its like living in a warm bed! we can play music, go out for walks. I can cook you tea, or we can order and drive down somewhere. But ever been in somewhere which is really warm....cosy...like a car and your falling asleep to the sound of the rain...?

I grew up with this...just without you <3



-2-

Somewhere hot - Ibiza or somewhere.
Bikini weather none the less...rent a cabin, loud music, summer..
Beach literally just outside the door. bar only a 5-10 minute walk
we can just take a swim whenever we want, hold hands and just be with you :3


-3-

Have an apartment of our own. Make it our own. loud music; decorate it (:
No worries about anyone walking in...make you breakfast, share a bed, watch films, order pizza
(:

i know it's a lot to ask..or hope for even



Freaked yet? o.o
dude...i want a future with you <3
I love you to pieces...honestly i've never felt like this and won't do over anyone else <3


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Sunday 22 January 12 20:22

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Sunday 22 January 12 20:12

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Me o.O....(:
Elleh :DD (Ellie)
and ..other stuffs :P
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